Knowledge and Judment: Flesh and Blood
by Julian Amsel
Summary: With Izzy wounded and the full moon rising, an ally resists the urge to kill her best friend...


"Knowledge and Judment: Flesh and Blood" 

The stars were bright in the dark sky of the evening. The moon had not yet risen, and I was glad for that fact. Not just glad.... relieved. My only enemy that I could never, ever defeat was the moon, and I resented it for that. Though it was bright, giving the cold, dark night the light that it needed, I lived in fear of it. Especially now... now that I was with friends, I feared it, for the moon would take control of me, and possibly force me to destroy them...   
I shuddered and looked down at Izzy, who lay beside me, his face pale. He wasn't dead, I was sure of it.. he couldn't die. Not Izzy. He was the only one that I really cared about... the gods wouldn't let him die. But that blow he had taken...   
It had only been one night ago. I hadn't had to fear the moon then, because it wasn't full yet, but still I ran from the rest of our little group, knowing that it was better to be safe than a murderer. Izzy and TK had followed me... they didn't realize what a danger I was to them... and then, the wave of darkness had attacked us.   
It was my only real enemy, other than that gods-damned moon. It was the opposite of light, the spawn of darkness. The everlasting shadow... the one whose name I refused to speak, for it would come when called...   
Usually, I could run away quickly enough, fleeing through the trees. But Izzy and TK.. they made their digimon digivolve, to try and fight it. I told them it was futile, that they had to run away, but it was too late. Too late...   
And now, we had escaped, barely, with our energy drained and Izzy nearly dead. There was a pain in my heart.... I knew it couldn't be love. Love is just an illusion that people use to get you to think what they want you to think. This was more than love. I.. cared about him. He's like the little brother I never had, I thought. Like the little brother I always wished I had. Someone I could really talk to. Dracomon was cool, but she just didn't understand me the way Izzy did...   
I returned my thoughts to the real world. Or at least, what accounted for the 'real world' over here. What IS the real world, any way? I guess it doesn't really matter, 'cause we aren't going to leave this world any time soon.   
Out in the center of the clearing, I could see TK and Patamon chasing fire flies, under the watchful eye of Dracomon and Tentomon. It must be great, I thought, to be a little kid and not have to worry about anything. Yeah right, said a voice in the back of my mind. Remember what happened to you when you were a shrimp? You wouldn't want to live through that hell again. 

"Commander Kay, this is Captain Dracomon reporting. We've captured the enemy base, but we're running low on supplies, sah. The rest of the crew is starting to complain, sah." said Dracomon as she walked up to me, throwing a quick salute.   
I laughed, and looked down at her, forgetting my troubles. Sometimes, during the long nights, me and Draco would pretend that I was the commander of an army, and she was my trusted captain. "Anything else to report, officer?" I asked, grinning.   
"Um... yeah." replied the little dragon, looking down. "By my guess, the moon is gonna rise in about half an hour. You know what that means."   
My smile faded, and my fears quickly returned. The moon, I thought. Now came the ultimate test. In the streets of Tokyo I was faced with it lots of times, but now, there was a small one around and even worse, blood. Blood from the flesh of my friend.. warm, tender flesh...   
I cringed, trying to push the thoughts away from my mind. Not yet, I thought. Not yet. And when the moon rises, control it. You can't allow yourself to hurt them....   
"All right, Draco." I said weakly. "I guess now we'll have to see just how strong my will power is, eh?"   
Dracomon nodded silently, sighing. "I wish there was some way to get rid of the moon. Then you wouldn't have to be so afraid that you'd hurt someone..."   
I took the dragon-digimon into my arms, smiling slightly. "That's okay... I guess I'll just have to.. watch it." I hugged her, being careful to avoid crushing her dragonfly-like wings. Usually, the little lizard would protest furiously when I did this, but now... something was different. I saw her looking down at Izzy, a concerned expression on her face.   
"Do you think he'll be okay?" she whispered softly, sadly.   
"I dunno.... " I replied, doubtful.   
Releasing my hold on her, I leaned over and studied Izzy's face carefully. He was pale, as white as a ghost, and yet...   
I gently pressed my ear to his chest and listened to the sound of his heart beat, slow, but steady. Carefully I touched his lips, relieved to feel his warm breath on my fingertips. But still, his face was deathly cold under my touch, and his hands were like ice...   
"I think he'll be all right." I said softly. "Maybe.... maybe he'll make it through the night okay, whether or not I-"   
"Whether or not what?" asked a familiar voice.   
I jumped, startled. Quickly looking over my shoulder, I realized it was TK who had spoken. He was looking over my shoulder, his innocent face filled with concern. Patamon stood beside him, and Tentomon had also come over, and strangely enough, though I usually figured that the insect-like digimon was incapable of expression, even he looked worried.   
"Whether or not what?" TK repeated. He looked up at me anxiously. "He will be okay.. won't he?"   
I shook my head. "I don't know, TK. I'm a healer, not a doctor. He might have internal damage that I can't see. But I'll tell you, I've done everything I can to help him." Looking at Izzy, I couldn't help but notice how the firelight shadowed his pale face, much like the way the dark evil had when it attacked him.   
"He has to get better." TK said, sitting down next to me. "He just has to. After all, he saved my life...." he looked at me, blue eyes twinkling with admiration. "And you saved the both of us."   
"Don't." I muttered bitterly. "Don't even talk about it."   
"But it was so cool, the way you scared away that bad guy with all that lightning-" At the sight of my glare, his voice faded. "All right. I won't talk about it any more."   
"Sorry." I whispered. "I'm just so worried about him.... he lost so much blood.."   
"It's okay. Even Matt couldn't have done gooder than you."   
I smiled at TK, amused at his under-average use of grammar. "You sure look up to him."   
"Yeah, he's the greatest." TK replied, grinning. "He's the best big brother I've ever had."   
"He's the only big brother you've ever had." I muttered.   
"That's why he's the best."   
I felt sharp claws digging into my arm, and I looked down to see Dracomon. "Remember, the moon. You've got fifteen minutes" she hissed urgently.   
"Hey, TK?" I said, quickly looking back at my little friend. "Speakin' of Matt, I don't think he'd appreciate it if I let you stay up late like this. It's time for you to go to sleep, little bud."   
"Awe, do I have to?" he whined, sniffing. "I'm not tired. Not one little bit."   
"Hey, don't bluff me." I retorted, wagging my finger at him like a concerned mother. "I've seen you and Patamon. If you two yawn any longer, maybe a fire fly'll buzz into your mouth and get stuck there."   
"All right, all right." he mumbled, sighing. "If you say so..."   
"I do." I said, trying to keep a stern face. But somehow, it was extremely difficult to keep from laughing out. 

"Lay down next to Izz." I said softly. "It's just... well, he's so cold.. maybe you'll be able to warm him up a bit, eh?"   
"Okay!" TK replied, grinning as he lay down and snuggled up to Izzy. "Whoa, you're right, he IS cold." he exclaimed in surprise.   
"Yeah... I know." I muttered. "Too cold for my likin'.. Now do you know why I asked you to keep him warm?" Sighing, I slipped off my jacket and draped it over the two boys. It wouldn't provide much warmth, I was sure of that... but it would have to do.   
"Kay?" TK asked, looking up at me. "Do you think we'll meet up with the others soon?"   
I bit my tongue to keep from stating the obvious. Give me a break, kid, I thought. We're stuck up here. Do you think I'd run away to a place where I knew they'd find me?   
"I don't know." I lied. "Maybe. Why do ya ask?"   
"I miss Matt..." he mumbled. "I miss 'im a lot."   
"Hey, I miss him too." I replied, lowering my eyes. "He... I know he doesn't like me much. I don't really blame him for that. But... I guess he kind of grows on you."   
"Hmm....."   
  
As the fire burned lower, and TK's breathing became steady as he fell asleep, I began to think of our situation. I can't keep them with me forever, I thought. Much as I want to, I can't. They need the others... and the others need them.   
"I'll take them back at the end of the week." I said softly, to no one but the night. "Then... the moon will be waning... and everything will be safe again."   
Somehow, the moon had not yet risen, but I knew it wouldn't take long before it would be high in the sky. I stared into the fire, waiting for the Change to come.   
Life is weird, I thought. You think you have it figured out, and then it turns on you...   
I looked down at the ground, contemplating this. All my life I had been punished for things that I had to do, whether I had a choice in the matter or not. Up until now, I was glad to be in the Digital World, even though it felt like something was missing. But that something had been missing all my life....   
For sixteen years, I hadn't known whether I was coming or going. And for sixteen years, a part of me was gone. It just.. wasn't there. But now... I had found the meaning of being lonely. It was that the rewards you get fill your heart 'till it bursts.   
I looked at TK, who was sleeping so peacefully beside Izzy. He's never really known pain, I thought. Never known what it's like to suffer, to sometimes wish you were never born at all... because your life doesn't matter.   
My gaze strayed to Izzy's pale face, where the shadows danced freely on his sweet, intelligent expression. Leave him alone, I thought. You may have hurt him, One who I cannot name, and you may have forced your venom into his flesh and blood, but your evil won't destroy him. I won't let you kill him. 

Sighing, I lay down next to Izzy, gently draping my arm across his chest. "Pull through, Izz-man." I whispered softly, warming his cold body with mine. "Pull through...... for me." 

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Author's notes: Okay, this is the last preview for my little story=). Um.. a few explanations: it might seem like there's "something" between Izzy and Kay, but.. um.. no. definitely no. well, there IS something, but a different kind of something. awe bugger, just never mind. you'll see when i'm done writing the thing.=) But the point is, there's more to Kay than what you might think.   



End file.
